On a personal level so much has changed. Half way this year I became a mom and that… was a huuuuuuge transition in my life. Now at the end of 2016 I slowly start to settle and embrace this new phase. Being daily confronted with my own impatience and learn how to deal with that has maybe been one of the biggest lessons I have learned this year.
I have to admit that feeling the weight of responsibility for the little one and high self expectations, trying to control it all mixed with a sauce of hormones racing through my body has been quite overwhelming.
A huge beautiful volcano exploded in 2016, all the lava covered up my relationship, career, and friendships. It has changed many things… slowly the hot lava is cooling down and settling. I think in 2017 the pumice stone will be a fruitful base to start re-building up from.
Over the last year I also changed completely physically. From flat belly, to a human growing inside of me, from small boobs to big boobs and back. From big hair to hair falling out, pregnancy glow to 24/7 bags under my eyes. From well trained muscles to letting go to slowly re-train again.
2016: The year where my heart is growing with love day after day by seeing this new little human develop. Cliche but oh so true; to see Willem discovering the world around him and his own body is priceless to see.
My love for friends, family and especially Daan got stronger and stronger after his birth this year. Quality time vs. Quantity time. Being honest and sharing my struggles as a young ambitious new mom with my loved ones made me feel even more connected in times where it can also be very lonely.
The last years before Willem’s birth I have been dancing and traveling all around the world and literally being in the center of attention on stage. As a freelance performer I was barely at home and everyday was completely different. Basically no structure at all, and going with the flow.
From the 2nd half of 2016 suddenly being home a lot and following Willems structure is in my case quite a big change. Not a bad change… but a big change.
However, I also know this is a very important phase and I feel it is very important to give Willem a good kickstart in his life. So to put my ego now and then aside and give space for others to grow and develop is another lesson I am learning this year. Not only me, me, me… but WE.
2016: Especially in the world like how it is now; with some frightening changes and events happening often. My little family and connecting with loved ones became more important for me then before.
And yes, it scares me more and more what climate changes will do for our children’s future, and yes it scares me how the fear for another terrorism attack has grown on me, and yes it scares me what is happening on a bigger political picture with some very close minded people at the top and yes it even scares me if this safe country I grew up in, will stay like this for Willem to grow up in.
But we don’t know what the future will bring, or what tomorrow will teach us. We do can appreciate what we have. And I do… by writing this down and looking back on this past year, I am a very blessed and a rich person. How my parents still teach me some very important lessons I hope that I can teach Willem the same.
And for now he just have to follow his crazy dancing mommy all around.
Cheers to a good start in 2017, cheers to lots of dancing and being free, cheers to LOVE!